Postpartum Guide
Postpartum – your guide to manifesting the most healing, transformational postpartum for your health and wellbeing in the present moment, years down the line, your baby and ultimately the generations to come.
In many cultures mothering the new mother so that she may gently transition into her new role is normal and expected. Not many women observe the act of “laying in” after being reborn as mothers.
After the birth of our first daughter I did not allow for this sacred time to heal and adjust and I suffered for it.
During my pregnancy with our second daughter I took steps to make my postpartum time as easeful as possible. From this experience I absolutely know the importance of setting up a postpartum plan, how it affects our overall mental and physical healing, relationship to ourselves, baby and other family members.
My highest wish is that all expectant mothers, regardless of where or how they give birth, have the information and insight to allow for rest, nourish their bodies and bond with their babies. This will set the tone for your wellbeing, not only immediate postpartum, but for years to come.
This can be a fun experience and also a deep dive into questioning what energies you want to invite into your postpartum nest, what visitors can do for you (everything from doing your dishes, taking older siblings out to leaving nutritious meals at your door – that´s right they don´t even have to come in!)
Here I´ll explain the benefits of those precious weeks and include:
Three nutritious soup recipes and a super simple snack
Affirmations that bring you joy on those days you feel you´ve done nothing but breastfeed
Signs to inform well meaning visitors of your wishes
A visualisation to help you manifest your magical postpartum experience
Prompts to unravel and write your birth story
Prompts how to navigate asking for help
Important information to help your partner navigate the postpartum time
Resources
Postpartum Visualisation Exercise
I invite you to close your eyes and take a few cleansing breaths.
Imagine you´ve been on a journey, not just any journey. You have travelled far, through time and space. You became weary, unsure if you could go on. It was so intense. Just as you had the thought that you might give up, that you might burst or crack open, you reached your destination, the Portal.
Time stood still, the feeling you had melted away. You were in a beautiful place and you wondered at it´s magnificence. You realised you were not alone in this wonderous place. You turned and found your baby and you remembered why you were there.
With your heart full of love you held out your hand and travelled through the Portal together.
You are reborn as Mother. You´re home! With you is the most precious gift imaginable - your baby!
Take a moment to breath it all in. And exhale.
Keeping your eyes closed imagine the days after. You are lying naked, skin to skin, baby at your breast. Who would you invite into your sacred space? The beauty and rawness of your journey lingering on but fading. What would they do for you? After such a journey you and your baby connect on such a deep level. Who is there holding you and this union? Who will nourish your body and soul so you may nourish your baby? Who will honour this time and assist your healing?
Take a few more breaths. On the inhale imagine the love you are receiving. On the exhale imagine the love you are giving your baby.
What is your gut and heart telling you?
Slowly open your eyes – Who was there? Remember you have the right to chose a sovereign postpartum.
Affirmations
This time will pass enjoy it while it lasts.
You are a Queen on your sovereign throne.
If you feel like cleaning, lay down and nap with baby until that feeling passes.
Boobs are the best. Make sure you rest.
Your house isn´t dirty, you´re cultivating microbiomes to increase your babies gut health.
Stay hydrated.
Recipes – make and freeze any of these dishes in advance or pass on to friends and family
Oat Bars
180°c (fan oven)
300g Oats
3 small bananas
1.5 tbsp cinnamon
3 tbsp raw butter
150 ml raw milk
Put the oats to one side. Mash the rest of the ingredients.
Stir in the oats. Grease an oven proof dish 35cm x 23cm with coconut oil.
Press the mixture into the dish. Place the dish in the oven for 12 – 15 minutes.
Let cool. Cut into 12 bars.
Nettle Soup serves 4 Spring (If nettles are unavailable try using spinach)
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
2 potatoes, diced
A large handful of nettles, washed
1 litre of stock
1 tbsp lemon juice
Method:
Fry onion and garlic on a medium heat until translucent (5 – 10 mins)
Add the potato and fry for a further 10 minutes
Add nettles until wilted.
Add the stock and lemon juice.
Wizz up with a blender.
Pumpkin Soup serves 4 Autumn
1 Butternut squash, cubed
2 small sweet potatoes, cubed
2 potatoes, cubed
1 yellow onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 red chilli (optional), finely chopped
A knob of ginger, chopped
2 litres of stock
Method:
Start by frying the onion, garlic and ginger and chilli (if using) in some olive or coconut oil over a medium heat until the onion is soft and translucent.
Add the butternut squash, sweet potatoes and potatoes giving everything a good stir.
Let cook for a few minutes before adding the stock.
Bring to the boil then turn down the heat and simmer on a medium heat for 20 minutes or when the veg starts to feel soft.
Add to you blender or use a hand mixer and wizz to a smooth consistency.
Enjoy the nourishing warmth from the ginger and chilli
Bone broth: (Adapted from recipe by Kimmy Chain)
If possible use grass-finished animal sources
Bones from a previously roasted chicken
500g – 1 kg oxtail
1 garlic bulb
1 yellow onion, quatered
1 large carrot, roughly chopped
1 tbsp black peppercorns
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
Fresh herbs e.g rosemary, thyme
Salt
Water
Method.
Oven 180 C (fan oven)
Coat oxtail, garlic and onion in olive oil 20 – 30 mins
Add these and all other ingredients, except the herbs and salt, to a large pot
Cover with water and bring to a boil
Once boiling reduce to a simmer
Simmer for 8 – 10 hours adding water as needed
Add herbs in the last hour of cooking
Strain and salt to taste
Use this bone broth in any of the above soups to make them more nutrient dense and delicious!
In fact, add it to any soups, stews, sauces. I even add it to my hot chocolate!
Signs
Thank you for honouring us by not staying too long.
Mama and baby resting.
We welcome and recognise your loving gifts and thank you for understanding our need to be alone at this time.
All and any help is welcome.
Hot oil massage very much appreciated!
Birth Story prompts
Invest in a beautiful notebook and pen (you might want to use this book to jot down wonderful memories as your babies grow)
If you don’t have the time or head space to write your story straight away it might be helpful to jot down some bullet points (either in the notebook or in your phone) that outline some of the parts that stand out for you.
Find a quiet spot, preferably your bed or wherever you are resting
Have a blanket or duvet nearby to cover up and keep warm.
Hold an object that reminds you of your strength.
Sit in silence or have some soft, gentle music playing in the background.
Have your baby close (I found it helped to look at my babies sweet, sleeping face)
Make sure there are little to no distractions – a friend or relative could look after older siblings
Light a candle.
Have a cup of tea
Have tissues handy (for sad or happy tears)
Take a few deep breaths, relax and get comfortable with the idea of going back
Use sage or palo santo to smudge prior to and after writing.
Just start writing – it doesn’t matter if it’s not in chronological order or you remember something later, just start. You can always amend or not!
Have a friend or your partner close by for a hug afterwards. Lets not forget the power of connection.
Asking for help
In today’s society where everyone is busy, busy, busy it might feel daunting to ask for help. You may feel your friends don’t have time to pop in and ask how you´re getting on, do a load of washing for you or make you a delicious, sustaining meal.
Who are we to ask for help anyway? We´re supposed to just make things work, get on with it, do it alone. That’s what everyone else does, right? Ok, how did their postpartum journey go? Did they give up on breastfeeding because they were dehydrated, stressed, not eating enough? Did they bleed for weeks on end postpartum, wearing adult nappies, feeling worn out, depleted?
Trust me when I say that, for the most part, though your friends might claim to never have enough time, they´re really longing to be asked. Considerate friends and family members won’t want to bother you during this time and are merely waiting for you to get in touch. This is doing everyone a disservice. You´re waiting, they´re waiting. It´s a waiting game. Do them a favour and ask!
They´re going to be doing their own washing so they can easily add yours to the load and they will be cooking meals for themselves (hopefully) so doubling up isn´t going to be an issue. As for asking how you are we all need to connect more in person so it’s a win win situation.
Tips on how to ask for help
Make sure you ask in advance so they have the opportunity to set aside time for you.
Be clear as to what their role is postpartum.
Don’t be afraid to let them know if this role changes or you need help with something else.
Invite a friend round during your pregnancy to cook a meal together. This is not only a wonderfully social act it is also a subtle reminder of what you will need postpartum.
Send a list of food intolerance or food you will want to avoid postpartum. This way you have clear guidelines and no food waste. Imagine lovingly preparing a meal and it can´t be eaten.
Your Partner and the postpartum
This information could be the most crucial aid to your postpartum healing as is very rarely spoken about.
All mothers need to have a support system of at least two people. If one falls away there is still one in place.
Father/partner is one of the two, plus one more.
All fathers need to have a support system of at least two people, for the same reason. (Not the mother)
Mother will no longer have the capacity to resource her partner emotionally as she did before baby was born.
Mothers FULL emotional energy is going to the baby. This is normal and natural.
This might mean a grieving process for the men.
Intimacy changes after birth.
Men will, most likely, want to have sex before their partner.
Mothers are exhausted from nursing, sleep deprivation, etc. and, if anything, want alone time.
This does NOT mean they don’t love or care for their partner any more.
If Mothers feel supported by their partners at this time they will be more inclined to turn towards them for emotional connection and intimacy when ready.
As the father is invested in the health and wellness of their baby he will emotionally resource the mother so that she, in turn, can emotionally resource the baby.
Find ways to stay in connection as a couple and engage in conversations about how sex and intimacy can evolve at this time. (Easier said than done when babies need 24/7 care but a game changer)
The quality of our relationships, including sexual, are one of the core requirements for good health.
Body work
I cannot stress the importance of body work during postpartum.
This can include;
closing of the bones ceremony
rebozo massage
hot oil massages
intervaginal work
biodynamic craniosacral therapy
osteopathy
acupuncture and more.
Resources two books I found helpful when planning my postpartum
The first forty days by Heng Ou
The fourth trimester by Kimberly Ann Johnson
Emilee Saldaya and Nancy Lucina postpartum course
https://www.freebirthsocietycourses.com/a/2147517435/b2UM7h8d
